No two people are alike, and that is just as true of parenting couples as it is for anyone else. The way that you interact with your baby is likely to be different from the way that your partner interacts with the little one.

The Breastfeeding Advantage

When it comes to bonding with baby, a breastfeeding mom has a built-in advantage: she is the milk factory, the food source. Along with breastfeeding comes snuggling and cuddling, singing lullabies, and probably even some baby talk. All of this can leave the non-breast-feeding partner feeling pretty left out. It can also make the breastfeeding mom exhausted, grumpy and perpetually tired as she meets the demands of a new born who needs to be fed about every three hours.

Smart Partners

Early socialization with people other than Mom is good for your baby. And who better to begin that process than your nearest and dearest? Smart partners find ways for the other parent to have input into Baby’s life. Here are a few ways to manage this:

• Get help putting the baby into the crib. It will take some coordination to get the sleeping infant moved from Mom’s arms, into the partner’s arms and then into bed. But with a little practice your partner will find a style that will get baby from your arms into the crib, bassinet or other sleeping arrangement.

• Bath time as fun time. A daily bath is good for your baby, and carefully managed, it can soon become fun time. Supporting and keeping a slippery baby safe during clean up can be a challenge for anyone, so all hands can be on deck, for soapy, sudsy sharing.

• Dad’s Home! Babies quickly develop a built-in time sense, and also feel Mom’s anticipation of her partner’s arrival. If the working partner greets both mom and baby with a glad smile and a bit of cheerful nonsense for the baby, the infant will soon anticipate the out-of-home partner’s return. One study indicated that babies often greet dad with a big, goofy grin and waving hands and legs.

Sharing Care

As your baby grows into toddlerhood, sharing care becomes easier. Toddlers are fast. They can find an amazing number of things to get into, and they have no fear of danger. In fact, it is good to have two sets of eyes to spot the potential dangers before they happen.

This is a point at which you and your partner might require some long talks about what is permitted and what is not; what is age appropriate and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what a two-year-old toddler understands and the level of self-restraint a child can have can make a huge difference between peace and chaos in your home.

Dad, Older Brother or Uncle as Jungle Gym

An older male family member is often viewed as a sort of mobile playground equipment. This is, in part, because they often have the bodily strength to allow a child to use an arm for chin-ups, a foot for a riding horse , or a tall shoulder so that a very short person can be tall enough to see the parade along with everyone else. This benevolent rough and tumble can be part of a healthy relationship that encourages both mental and physical development.

Reading Aloud
A kindergarten teacher once remarked that she could quickly see whether children had been read to at home. Reading books together is a great way to prepare your child for school. Your child might develop a preference between parents for who reads aloud, or your little one might discover that one partner does a better job of reading certain books. If that turns out to be your spouse, then no matter how jealous you might feel, be glad that your partner is taking an interest in your child.

Present a United Front, But Talk it Out in Private

As your child grows, you and your partner are not always going to agree on discipline, permissible activities, and a host of other things. Try to anticipate what your child might ask to do, and try to work out the logical response in advance. But you can bet your little darling will blindside you both with requests at some point. Your best goal is to present a united front at the time, but to talk it out in private rather than arguing in front of your child.

You might develop a codeword or phrase to help each other understand when something that is fine with your partner, just isn’t acceptable for you, or vice versa. It isn’t easy to present that united front, even if you are feeling pretty divided. Getting these things worked out early will make those teen years a lot easier.